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The Three Fucketeers: Part 1 - 8/15 Weekend Event Live!

Hey everyone...new event this weekend, eh?
Strategy: Sir Buselot, Herclian, and Ricky Hood at level 2, Raz Ascal at level 7, Inn-N-Smorgasbord at level 5 with 1050 customers
Character / Business Level Needed
Sir Buselot, Herclian, and Ricky Hood Level 2
Village Idiot Level 1
C&T Market Level 1
Lucerella Level 1
Brothel Level 1
J-Maestro Level 1
Tomato Bread Shop Level 1
T Wiz Level 4
Black Magic Cellular Level 3
King Lahey Level 4
Tailor Villa Level 3
Raz Ascal Level 7
Inn-N-Smorgasbord Level 5
Prizes: Sir Bubselot (costume), Lucerella (costume), T Wiz (costume - leaderboard prize) Sheet: The Three Fucketeers
How'd everyone do on the jailbreak? Sam didn't show up in my shop once sooo I never had a chance at getting past the third prize, unfortunately. First time that's ever happened to me, and it felt grea-ea-easy. Anyways...how's life in general treating you guys? I turned in my last papeproject for the summer semester on Sunday, and I start the fall semester Monday, so I'm enjoying my one week summer break 😑. I'm also behind at work, which is why I missed ya guys on Tuesday...still need to catch up, but hey, I'll get there eventually haha.
This is a brand new event, although the structure may seem familiar! You'll be able to grab three new costumes this week...no new characters (lame!). Wanted to get this up so you guys know which way to go with the event, I need to get the sheet fixed with all the right businesses and whatnot -- for now, the multipliers and goals are there!
If anything changes with the strategy (although it shouldn't), you guys will be the first to know!
Good luck!
submitted by maybeireadthat to GreasyMoney

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My immortal wizard in ai dungeon

Xaxas is a world of peace and prosperity. It is a land in which all races live together in harmony. The gnomes build their machines and live among the humans. Elves run the academies in which people come to learn. Ogres have no qualms living in the same town as humans or gnomes. Yet, all is not well.
You are Dawn, an immortal human mage living in the town of Morthem. You have spent your whole life studying magic and are finally prepared to leave home and join the Mage's Guild in the capital of Orlania.
You summon the grim reaper. You raise your arms out to your forehead and concentrate. For a moment, you are transported to a different place. You see a long corridor with hundreds of doors along both sides.
You say "Grim reaper I've come to bargain" You hear a voice reply "I know, human. Do you have anything to offer in exchange for the gift of death?"
You say "I wish to be immortal" "Heh, well human, I do not. However, there is someone who does. Wait here for a moment."
You say "Okay I will wait" A moment passes and a tall dark figure enters the room. He resembles death himself, his pale skin almost giving him solid appearance. His eyes are dead and featureless.
You say "Hello" "Hello, mortal. I am the God of the Dead. Lord Xac in the old days. You wish to make a deal with me?
You say "Yes I do i want to become immortal without being immoral " "Hmm, well this is a first. A mortal that says they want to be immortal without wanting to be moral. Interesting." You sit down in front of him.
You say "I offer a dragon's heart in exchange for immortality" "I accept, but what is this for?
You say "I want to be immortal of course to continue to become perfection" "Hmm, I see. You think that this world is not good enough for you and you wish to achieve perfection? "Of course."
You say "So will you give me immortality " "Well.....(Sigh) Very well, but you owe me a favor." The Grim Reaper sits down across from you. You notice he is heavily armored.
You say "What is the favor you wish me to complete" "I need a lot of souls brought into this world." You can't believe it. This amazing gift and you have to use it to save your own life? "Okay, but how do I do that?"
You say "So you want me to become a temporary grim reaper" "Yes, you would do this for me right?" You nod. "Of course.
You say "Then let's shake hands on this i work temporarily as a grim reaper in exchange for immortality " He shakes your hand and the deal is made. In time, you give up being a grim reaper and settle down with humanity knowing that you saved yourself from death.
You test your immortality. Once you achieve immortality, you never want to die again. Not that you'd ever want to leave this wonderful world. But what is the point of living forever if you are still subject to the ultimately inevitable?You live a long and prosperous life, but always wondering what it would be like to be truly immortal. One day you are approached by your current student Masterson.
You glance around your house for a task to do. You walk around your small house that is filled with books and magical equipment. Already knowing what he wants, you go into your study and begin to concentrate on the peacekeeper base that you know very well.
You study the peacekeeper base. You stand in the grassy field next to a seemingly ordinary looking stone wall. While it would be impossible for someone to scale this wall, there is a door in the wall nearby.
You check the door for any defenses that can be inproved. The wooden door is locked, but you know how to pick such things without trouble.
You reinforce wooden door with steel from the general. You go back inside and begin rummaging through the various bits of equipment on your study floor before you find what you are looking for. It is a small piece of iron that must have been ripped from a weapon.
You transmutate wooden door into a holy silver door. You concentrate and the door appears to turn silver, but you can't help but notice that the color of the door changes to a pale blue, but then you are interrupted by a knock at your door.
You say "Who is it" "Simon, its me." "Oh, come in." Your student is stood by the door and looks unsure as to why you are in a dressing gown. Its quite early in the morning.
You say "Oh the gown i was just up all night" He nods and tells you that there is an officer outside who says that he is here to take you to deal with this current situation.
You say "Okay then let us go to this officer" The two of you walks to the front door and you open the door to reveal an impressive looking gnome in gleaming chainmail. His face is weathered and has a stern expression.
You say "What may I dawn the immortal do for you" He shows no expression and barks out "I'm sent from the gnome peacekeepers and I need to take you to them for questioning."
You say "That is fine let us go" Your student looks a little worried but nods as you both begin to walk towards the officers carriage. You get on the carriage and the officer sits opposite you. He shows no expression at all as he stares at you.
You wait for the carriage to arrive by preparing spell in case of emergency. The carriage ride is uneventful and the officer never breaks his stare until you arrive at a small outpost. A single wooden watch tower with a few men standing outside.
You look at the wooden watch tower and think you can do better then the builders who made that tower. You are a clever one. Who knows what you can do to an inanimate object.
You look back at the officer and ask if this is the place. The officer stares at you and then looks at the tower. He barks an order where upon two of the men salute and head down to the edge of the lagoon.
You sense for magic anomalies. You concentrate hard and feel the presence of some kind of magical disturbance at the edge of the lagoon. You tell the officer. He nods and orders his men to prepare their weapons.
You say "Is this what I was here for" He shows no expression as he mutters to himself "The mage, the satchel, the money..." then he looks at you and your student. "There is nothing to be afraid of, just remain seated."
You say "Prep a spell warding barrier" Your student nods and prepares his spell. You also prepare your own spell. The officer watches you both and raises an eyebrow. "If you are going to use that de harming barrier, you had better do it now."
You say "We are making it so the hidden mage can't cast at us as easily" "Ah yes!" The officer smiles.
You say "Anything else that needs to be prepared" The officer watches you and your student. He looks at you and smiles.
You say "I'm going to take that as there is nothing more for me to do and go sit down" You both get off the carriage and walk towards the tower. The officer nods and watches your backs as you leave. As you turn to leave, he calls after you.
You say "Yes need something officer" The officer coughs and spits out some water he had in his throat. "You there!" He calls after you. "You are not a guard, you are a mage!" "Yes, so what?"
You say "You haven't explained whats going on for me to fix" "You are a mage." "Am I now?" The officer walks up to you and grabs your shoulder.
You say "Yes?" "Magical energy swirls around you. I can smell it." He pauses and looks at you. "Who are you?
You say "Dawn an immortal wizard" "This is the immortal wizard's carriage?" "Yes." "Let me through, let me through!" A burly man pushes his way to the front of the carriage.
You chuckle at the man's blunder. You chuckle to yourself. The man stares at you, unsure of how to react and leans against the carriage. You continue to chuckle. The man turns angrily and slams his fist into your face.
You block his punch with your emergency spells. You raise your hands up before you to deflect the punch and feel your emergency spells absorbing most of the blow. The man looks at his fist in confusion and you send a bolt of energy into his chest.
You kick him to the floor and put your foot on him. You raise your leg and bring it down on the thief's head, shattering his jaw and sending him to the floor. The man begins to scream at you in pain and you send him another bolt.
You intimate the their and demand why he is here. "Why should I trust you?" You stare at him angrily. "I'm here to collect you and your ill-gotten gains, don't try anything or you will suffer the consequences."
You say "I haven't done anything against the law. Yet" "Oh really?" "Oh yes." You stare at the man angrily, your fist clenching. "My name's Owen." "Yes, I know." "You're a mage!
You say "I don't specilze in water magic" "I've been watching you." "Looking for what? "Looking for a way to stop you." You stop to think about this a moment. "What way is that?"
You say "How could you stop an unkillable being such as i" "I'm not sure I understand." Maverick frowns. "Well, you're unkillable, aren't you?" You smile at him.
You say "Yes quite unkillable" Maverick rolls his eyes. "Well I suppose so. So how do you plan on stopping me?
You say "I don't plan on stopping you" "I'm coming with you." "What?!?" The soldier's jaw nearly hits the ground as he stares at you in disbelief.
You say "Interesting what do you have to offer" "I've got your head on a silver platter." "Oh, is that all? He sighs loudly.
You say "I got several heads on a plate and they are all my own head" Owen looks to the side. "I'm sure you do." "So, we got a deal?" Owen nods, and fills in the details. He hands you a small bottle of water.
You shrug and chug the bottle of water. You down the water in the bottle, its far too late to have any effect on you. Owen looks at the bottle and sighs loudly. "I don't believe that I will just let you go."
You try to recall who owen is. "I have seen your file and if I had to guess, you are probably the thief that we are after. We thought that he had escaped into the swamps but it looks like you were following us the entire time."
You say "Well theif are you going to surrender or can I use you in my more dangerous experiments " "Oh, you are much more than just a thief." He takes out his sword and points it at you. "I knew it! You're a spy!" "I am not a spy.
You say "I am not a spy im a immortal wizard how many times do I need to say this" "I am not a spy. I am a wizard." "Well, what do you use your powers for?" "Various things." Maverick snorts.
You say "I use my magic for self improvement mostly" "Hmmm, how nice for you." Maverick looks around as if someone is going to jump out at him and arrest him.
You look around at the guards and wonder why they haven't arrested the theif. tall sporting a purple and gold uniform with a large silver sword on the front of his waist. On either side of the sword are large golden eagles.
You say "Are you going to arrest the theif or do I get to send him into the sun" The guard snarls at you and draws his sword. "What the hell did you do to my eyes?" "The theif didn't do that, you're just sensitive about them."
You say "I did nothing to your eye focus on the theif so I can go back home" The theif is taken away and just to make sure you're dead, he is sentenced to death by burning at the stake.
You say "I'm immortal dumbass" The guards just stare blankly at you. "Sorry I didn't mean you." You get taken away, your remaining time in Kuzos is far from over. You are thrown into a dank underground cell. "Ah, look it's the magic law breaker." Two guards toss a fat old man in front of you.
You say "Hi fat ass want to make a deal" "Don't waste your breath talking to the fat geezer, he's put you in this cell as part of his plan to escape." A small dark elven woman cuts the fat man's throat.
You frown and stop crouching over the body. "So, now what?" "Now, we wait. They will try to get us out, but they can't do it without the keys." "The keys?
You say "Oh a jailbreak how fun" "I wouldn't bank on it." A guard arrives and gives you and the dark elf a box of keys. "Here are the keys." "Thank you."
You say "Fun fun fun running from the law" "Running from the law?" "It is better than being killed by it." "I suppose." "Let us make for Arat!" From a leather pouch she pulls out a small book.
You say "What is that book for" "It is a spell book, and it is yours." "What?" "Take it, it contains a good deal of power. Use it wisely." You take the book from her and open it.
You scan through book with enhanced vision. As you turn the pages, a small screen on the inside of each page flips to reveal a different color. Blue pages: You find something that looks like a spell.
You memorize ever spell in the book. A small screen projects your name, the book's name, the spell name and the book's page number onto the dungeon wall. "Oops, look what you made me do.
You laugh.
You laugh. The mage hits you in the head with his walking stick. "Hey!" "You will laugh when I give you permission." "What law?
You say "Well now I'm not in such a helpful mood" "You will turn over your books and objects or you will be taken into custody." "Or?
You say "Here take the book i have already memorized it" "You have memorized every book in this dungeon?" "They're mostly children's spell books." "Yes, but yours is different." "How?
You say "Well mine deal with life and death and how the world works and changes not some stupid magic fire that burns hot" "Those are tools of the dark arts.
You say "Why is it a dark art then" "I said they were, do you not agree?" "I don't know, I've never really thought about it.
You say "I just like to learn also my immortality isn't through killing i spoke to the god of death if you would like to verify that" "You have spoken to the god of death?" "Yes, he was very nice." "Did he offer you immortality too?
You say "He didn't offer i asked" "You have spoken to the king?" "Yes, he was telling me about the different laws that have been passed." "What did he say about my law?
You say "I didn't speak to him about laws i did the grim reader's job for awhile and I was payed with immortality not sacrificing innocent blood like you" "You were paid with immortality? "Yes, the god of death is a very nice man." The mage steps back from you and thinks for a moment.
You start walking back to your cell because they aren't amusing anymore. "Wait!" You turn around and the mage leaps at you with surprising speed. Although you had your dagger out, you weren't expecting a mage attack.
You say "The hell you want" "I just want peace." "You want peace by killing everyone?" "It's a nice idea, but it won't work." "Where were you when king bleck was slaughtering gnomes?"
You say "I'm not interested in the game of kings and queens" "I see, well as I said, I want peace." "Well you won't get it that way." The mage starts to laugh. "Oh we'll get it."
You say "Alright then can I go without you trying to Stab me" "Sure, though I expected you to resist a little more." "A few more years in that hellhole and I was probably going to snap anyway.
You say "I would've been fine I can leave at anytime call me if you have something to offer for my services " "Good, and thank you for your time." The mage nods and prepares to leave.
You walk into your prison cell and start humming. You then drop with a thud and you don't get up. Your soul is gone and the only thing left in the room is a black feather from one of the griffin statues.
You say "Oh I thought I was immortal lord of death" You drop to your knees and hold your head. You begin laughing and laughing until you don't have a face left. The Emperor must be laughing too at your pathetic state in the afterlife.
You say "Okay enough of this back to the living world" You suddenly come to and find yourself in a forest. The ground is wet from a recent rain and the air is a little crisp. You hear some noise in the distance and hide behind a nearby tree.
You say "Come out before I do something stupid and random" A young man comes out from behind the same tree you were hiding behind. He has unusual green skin and wears only a loin cloth.
You say "Oh no a tree man" "No, not a tree man" the man replies "A forest folk man." "Oh, same difference." You say still unconvinced. The forest man thinks for a moment.
You say "Need something little bush man" "Huh?" the forest man says "Oh no, my name is Gannon."
You say "Gannon like from the legend of zelda" "Yeah, you know about me?" "Everyone does around these parts.
You jokingly say oh please don't enslave hyrule and send link to the afterlife. "This is a nice try." Gannon replies "But I'm just not that kind of man." Gannon begins to leave.
You say "Bye bye willow tree" "Goodbye Willy" Gannon walks away into the horizon. Apparently he was heading for the woods. You sit down on a log and begin to think about the meaning of life.
You say "How the hell did i get here" You stand up and realize you've lost all your belongings, that's when you notice the black feather on the ground next to you. You pick it up and feel something hard at the end.
You say "Oh this is hard as my dick" You pull out the hard object which reveals a quill, a working quill. Not knowing what else to do you begin to write something on the ground.
You draw a penis. Although the spike at the end is pointed it still manages to write on the ground. You continue writing DICK for a while until finally something happens. The quill moves a little further south.
You follow the quill with a dance. You follow the quill into the woods. After a while you begin to hear music. You follow the music and eventually it leads you to a small campfire.
You say "Hello camp folk" One of the men turns to you, he is almost completely covered in tattoos which cover his entire body. "So....youwant some ink?" the tattooed man asks You grin and nod vigorously.
You say "Do you have any idea what this quill is for" "No, but you're not wasting your time are you?" With this response you continue writing. Ink starts to flow from the tattooed man's skin into the quill.
You say "Oh how magical" You continue writing, but the ink flow decreases until finally the tattooed man stops drawing and looks at you. "Finish writing." He states.
You say "Fun what are we writing" "A warning." You finish writing and look curiously at the tattooed man. "What does it say" he asks. You read the warning aloud.
You say "Oh beware of Gannon the tree man" The man shakes his head. "Nah, that's not real." "Sure is" you reply. The man stands up and walks over to you.
You say "I could walk right over there and introduce Gannon to you" "I don't think that would be a good idea." "Why not, he saved my life" "Yeah, but the things I know about him..." the man pauses "He's not quite human."
You say "Yes he is forest folk" "Maybe... I think it's time for you to go." You finish writing a few more warnings on the parchment and give it to the man. "If you tell anyone about this..."
You say "I don't know what I would do" The man grins at your almost child like ignorance then nods. "Don't worry kid, you'll be fine." You thank the man profusely and set off north towards the village of Morthem.
You think now what. You approach Morthem slowly, it would be best to check things out before you go barging in. You carefully sneak along the outskirts of town and note the massive destruction that took place.
You oh ho how did this happen you don't remember being drunk. In what is a very bizarre turn of events, you remember that you were drunk during the last time you were in Morthem. You don't remember all the events that followed however as you blacked out.
You say "Fuck i burned the town" "It's probably those orcs" you think as you approach the ruins of the tavern. You stop and think for a moment. "So... the orcs attacked and then what happened?"
You say "If anyone is here please step out" You enter the ruined tavern and call out. You hear some noise above so you head to it. The tavern seems to have been destroyed by fire from within.
You say "Don't worry ill get you out dawn the immortal wizard will set you free" You manage to make your way out of the ruins of the tavern. It seems that the tavern was in the process of being rebuilt at the time of its destruction.
You use a spell of telekinesis to reassemble the tavern. As the dust slowly settles you begin to see bits of wood and other small objects drift by. You gently move them one at a time closer to you until finally they are again in your grasp.
You look around for surivors in the reassembled tavern. Though the tavern has been rebuilt it is clear that a great battle took place here. The bodies of orcs and other foul creatures lay upon the floor.
You say "Is any body that is not dead in here" A faint voice calls back from the cellar. "I'm entombed in the cellar of this place!" You descend down the cellar stairs, as you do so you notice several mutant rat creatures scurry away.
You say "Oh hello mouses" You hear a weak "Hello" in response as you enter the cellar. A single mutant rat creature sits there. It looks like its missing an eye and one of its arms.
You say "I happened to hear a human voice trapped in the cellar do you know where the person might be" "o.k yes I am a survivor of the monsters attack on the patrol. I'm one of two left alive out of the twelve on patrol. The other... took his own life I think..." he answers sadly.
You say "Wait a minute the survivor is the mutated rate" "Yes... I don't understand it. The mutant rats are supposed to be carefully breeding and controlled by the government. They're supposed to be pets! They're not supposed to attack and kill people!
You say "Oh them why haven't you attacked me yet" "Well, I'm not sure why you would want to become a ghoul. You're a very beautiful woman, after all. For another thing, I'm waiting for my master to return from his business.
You say "Is your master the God of death" "Yes, he's been my master for over a century. Why do you ask?
You say "Oh I just happened to make a deal of immortality with him" "Oh, how wonderful! Do you think you'll stay?" You laugh. "I don't know. You'll probably see me again though."
You say "I'm immortal i will be here till the end of time" "That's wonderful, my dear. I'm glad you came across my trail. I could use a friend, and a lover, too... Come."
You say "Sorry I like girls" "That's all right, dear. I like guys too, but if you want to be with me, that's fine." You turn and leave the tavern with your ghoul.
You say "Wait what gender are you then" "I'm uh... I'm trans." "Oh, well too bad then." "Huh?
You say "So do you like guys or girls" "I like both! I think that everyone is pretty!" You continue to walk with the creature, who seems a bit happier now.
You say "Well personally I don't have a gender I just choose a female form" "Oh, well I guess that's cool then." "Well thank you, I think." "I have a name too if you want to call me that." "Sure what is it?
You say "My name is dawn" "Nice to meet you, I'm Nickolaus." "How long have you been a ghoul?
You say "Were you turned into a ghoul by the God of death by any chance" "Actually I was..." "Ah, then you must follow him." "I was raised from birth to serve the Emperor! He is the God of Death!" You dismissively wave your hand.
submitted by DragonGold121 to AIDungeon