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I'm ashamed of my internet usage
Even though I was born in 2003, I remember life before the Internet. I live in a quiet village in the countryside. Only a few hundered residents live here. My earliest memory of a computer must have been when I was six or seven years old. I remember my dad bringing home a laptop he got from his office job. With no internet connection at home, I often spend my Saturday mornings behind the laptop toying with Word. I really liked word. It didn't matter that I couldn't read yet. There was just something magical about pressing a button and a letter appearing on screen.
For my 11th birthday, my family gifted me a Nokia phone. It really made my life more convenient. Instead of walking all the way home to tell my mother that I was going hang out with one of my friends after school I could just phone her. It wasn't exactly a smartphone, but it marked the start of technology in my life.
Fast forward to when 2 years ago, and things had changed significantly. The entire village had recieved an internet connection at home, and I bought my first smart phone. This phone opened up a whole new world. At first, my usage wasn't unhealthy or anything. A classmate recommended a youtuber who made weekly sketches, and I watched the new one every Sunday morning. But it didn't take long before I fell into the traps of Youtube's algorithms. There always seemed to be a new, interesting video in the recommended and soon I found myself watching for entire mornings. Since then my internet usage has only increased.
There are some good things the internet has brought me. I can speak to my aunt more easily, who lives at the other end of the country. The internet has helped me learn English and opened up new ways to study such as Quizlet. But recently I've noticed the heavy usage is causing some negatives. The village has become quieter since the arrival of the Internet. People are going out less often, so do I. My internet usage has even started to have an effect on my academic performances.
Last week our testweek started. Because our school knows many students have a side-job the testweek started on Wednesay, giving us two days off to study. Instead of studying I wasted all my time on the internet. Tests are not going too well, and suspect the results will be way lower than usual. I am feeling ashamed and want to concentrate on overcoming this addiction, before it spirals further out of control.
I will use today to tidy up my computer and phone, and delete/block apps and websites. From tomorrow on I: -Cannot use the internet while I'm sitting at my desk -Cannot use the internet while I'm laying in bed -Cannot use my phone to listen to music while traveling to school or going to the shop -Cannot use reddit for my news -Can use the internet for fun (watching video's, chatting, using social media) between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. -Will switch off all electronics after 9 p.m.
I'm hoping these measures will help fixing my problems, and give me back my old life.
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